A mistake can tell you a lot about the person who made it.
But it can tell you just as much about the person responding to it.
I’ve led people for a long time, and I haven’t always handled mistakes perfectly.
I have high standards. I notice details. I care about the quality of the work.
Sometimes I’ve been frustrated.
Sometimes I’ve jumped in and taken over because I knew I could fix it faster myself.
And sometimes, if I’m being reflective about it, I probably made my expectations clearer through my reaction than I ever had through my communication.
At the time, I probably thought I was doing the right thing.
I wanted the work to be right.
I wanted things to move forward.
I wanted people to understand what was expected.
But I’ve come to realise that when someone makes a mistake, the mistake itself isn’t the only thing that matters.
What matters just as much is what happens next.
Because they’re not only learning from what went wrong.
They’re learning from me.
What Your Reaction Teaches People
When someone makes a mistake, they are already dealing with the consequences of what happened.
Perhaps something needs fixing.
Perhaps someone needs to be told.
Perhaps a deadline has been affected.
Perhaps the quality isn’t where it needs to be.
Those things matter.
But then there is your response.
You can respond in a way that encourages someone to take responsibility
Or you can respond in a way that makes them think twice before telling you about the next mistake.
That’s a significant difference.
It either teaches them to take responsibility – or it teaches them to hide their mistakes from you.
I’ve learned that leadership isn’t just about correcting what went wrong.
It’s about creating the environment in which people respond to things going wrong.
High Standards Are Still Important
I don’t think the answer is to lower your standards.
My standards are still high.
I still care about details.
I still expect people to take pride in their work.
And when something isn’t good enough, I believe it should be addressed.
But having high standards doesn’t excuse me from looking at how I respond when those standards aren’t met.
.There’s a difference between saying:
“This wasn’t good enough.”
And making someone feel:
“You’re not good enough.”
One addresses the work.
The other attacks the person.
That distinction matters.
You can challenge someone’s work without damaging their confidence.
You can expect more from someone without making them afraid to make another mistake.
And you can hold someone accountable without making accountability feel like punishment.
Don’t Let Your First Reaction Lead
One of the hardest things I’ve had to learn is that your first reaction isn’t always your best leadership response.
You can be frustrated.
You can be disappointed
You can know immediately that something needs to change.
But none of that means your first emotional reaction needs to lead the conversation.
Sometimes the best thing a leader can do is pause.
Not because the mistake doesn’t matter.
Because the person matters too.
The aim isn’t to pretend you’re not frustrated.
It’s to make sure the frustration doesn’t become the message.
Understand Before You Decide
It’s also very easy to decide why something happened before you actually understand what happened.
Something can look careless from the outside.
But perhaps the expectation wasn’t clear.
Perhaps the person didn’t have enough experience.
Perhaps they misunderstood something.
Perhaps they didn’t have the information they needed.
Or perhaps something changed that they weren’t aware of.
Before deciding that someone simply didn’t care, I’ve learned to ask:
What actually happened?
That question can change the entire conversation.
And sometimes, if I’m honest, it also means asking another uncomfortable question:
What did I contribute to this?
Was I clear?
Did I communicate the expectation properly?
Did I delegate effectively?
Did they have what they needed?
Leadership requires enough self-awareness to recognise that the mistake isn’t always entirely on the other person.
Ask What You Could Have Done Better
This is probably one of the more uncomfortable parts of leadership.
When something goes wrong, it’s natural to look first at what someone else did.
But leadership isn’t about protecting yourself from responsibility.
Sometimes you need to look at your own part in what happened.
Maybe you weren’t clear enough.
Maybe you assumed they understood something they didn’t.
Maybe you gave someone responsibility without giving them enough support.
Maybe you were too busy to properly explain what you needed.
None of that means the other person has no accountability.
It means accountability can go in both directions.
The more responsibility you are willing to take as a leader, the easier it becomes to ask others to take responsibility too.
Let People Help Solve the Problem
There is another lesson I’ve had to learn.
Sometimes jumping in and fixing something yourself feels like leadership.
Especially when you know you can fix it quickly.
But solving the immediate problem isn’t always the same as developing the person who made it.
If I always take over, I might get the result I want today.
But what happens next time?
Instead, sometimes the better question is:
“What do you think we should do now?”
Let them think.
Let them suggest a solution.
Let them take responsibility for putting things right.
The goal isn’t simply to get the problem off your desk.
It’s to help someone become better at dealing with the next problem themselves.
Make Accountability Safe
I want people I work with to feel able to say:
“I’ve messed this up.”
I’d much rather hear that early than discover later that someone knew there was a problem but was afraid to tell me.
That’s where leadership and culture become closely connected.
If people believe mistakes will automatically result in anger, blame or embarrassment, they have an incentive to hide them.
And hidden mistakes are far more difficult to manage than visible ones.
Creating psychological safety doesn’t mean creating a culture where mistakes don’t matter.
It means creating a culture where people can acknowledge mistakes quickly enough for them to be dealt with.
Accountability and safety can exist together.
In fact, I think they need to.
Know When to Let It Go
Once a mistake has been acknowledged, corrected and learned from, there is another responsibility for the leader.
Let it go.
It’s easy to remember someone’s previous mistakes.
It’s easy to become more cautious with them.
It’s easy to let an old error influence how you see their future work.
But if someone has taken responsibility, corrected the problem and learned from it, continually reminding them of what happened isn’t going to help them grow.
The lesson should stay. The mistake doesn’t have to.
People need the opportunity to improve
And they need to know that one mistake doesn’t permanently define how you see them.
What Kind of Team Are You Creating?
Every leader creates a culture through their behaviour.
Not just through what they say.
If you react badly to mistakes, people notice.
If you blame quickly, people notice.
If you take over every time something goes wrong, people notice.
And if you respond with curiosity, accountability and a willingness to understand, people notice that too.
Over time, those reactions become part of the culture.
You may think you’re simply responding to one mistake.
Your team may be learning something much bigger.
They’re learning what happens here when things go wrong.
They’re learning whether honesty is rewarded or punished.
They’re learning whether responsibility is encouraged or avoided.
They’re learning whether they can bring you a problem early.
And that’s why a mistake doesn’t just test the person who made it.
It tests the leader.
High Standards Don’t Have to Mean High Fear
I’ve learned that having high standards and creating psychological safety aren’t opposites.
You can expect excellent work.
You can challenge people.
You can give difficult feedback.
You can hold people accountable.
And you can still create an environment where people feel safe enough to tell you when something has gone wrong.
In fact, I think the strongest teams need both
Without standards, people don’t know what good looks like.
Without safety, people may become afraid to admit when they haven’t reached it.
The goal isn’t to remove accountability.
It’s to make accountability productive.
The Leader Has Something to Learn Too
One of the biggest shifts in my own thinking has been recognising that every mistake creates two opportunities to learn.
The person who made the mistake can learn from what happened.
But the leader can learn from how they responded.
Did I communicate clearly?
Did I listen?
Did I react too quickly?
Did I make it easier or harder for someone to take responsibility?
Did I help them develop, or did I simply fix the problem myself?
Those questions aren’t always comfortable.
But leadership isn’t about being perfect.
It’s about being willing to look at yourself as well as everyone else.
What Do You Want People To Do When They Get Something Wrong?
Ultimately, you can’t build a team that never makes mistakes.
People are human.
Things will go wrong.
Judgement will sometimes be wrong.
Communication will sometimes fail.
Details will sometimes be missed.
The question is what happens when they do.
Do people take responsibility?
Do they tell you early?
Do they help find the solution?
Do they learn from it?
And do they feel that they can do all of those things without being defined by the mistake?
That’s the culture I’m trying to build.
Not a culture where mistakes don’t happen.
A culture where people don’t feel the need to hide them.
The goal isn’t to build a team that never makes mistakes.
It’s to build a team that doesn’t feel the need to hide them from you.
Frequently Asked Questions
How should a leader respond when someone makes a mistake?
Start by separating the mistake from the person. Understand what happened, manage your own emotional reaction, establish accountability and involve the person in finding a solution.
Does psychological safety mean lowering standards?
No. Psychological safety and high standards can work together. People can be expected to produce excellent work while still feeling safe enough to acknowledge mistakes and ask for help.
Why is a leader’s reaction to mistakes so important?
Because your reaction teaches people what happens when things go wrong. A constructive response can encourage responsibility and openness, while a fearful response can encourage people to hide mistakes.
Should leaders take responsibility when their team makes a mistake?
Leaders should examine whether their own communication, delegation or expectations contributed to the situation. This doesn’t remove the individual’s responsibility, but it recognises that leadership accountability matters too.
Should a leader let mistakes go once they’re corrected?
Once a mistake has been owned, corrected and learned from, continually holding it against someone is unlikely to help them develop. The lesson should remain, but the mistake doesn’t need to define the person.
How can leaders encourage people to admit mistakes?
Create an environment where people know that honesty, early communication and taking responsibility are valued. Make it clear that the goal is to understand what happened, correct it and learn from it — not simply to find someone to blame.
