We often associate confidence with knowing what we’re doing.
Being able to make decisions, trust our judgement and stand by what we believe in.
And there’s certainly value in that.
But I’ve come to realise that one of the most important aspects of confidence isn’t how firmly we hold our opinions.
It’s how willing we are to question them.
Because there’s a difference between having strong beliefs and becoming so attached to them that we’re no longer prepared to consider anything different.
And sometimes, that distinction can make all the difference to how we grow, how we work with others and how we lead.
The Comfort of Being Right
Most of us like being right.
There’s a certain reassurance that comes from knowing we’ve made the correct decision or that our understanding of something has been validated.
Particularly when we’ve spent years developing our knowledge and experience.
We build confidence through the things we’ve learnt, the challenges we’ve overcome and the decisions we’ve made along the way.
But there’s a potential downside to becoming comfortable with what we know.
We can start to rely on our existing beliefs rather than questioning whether they’re still relevant.
We become more confident in our conclusions, but sometimes less curious about how we arrived at them.
And without realising it, we can begin to approach new situations with the assumption that our existing way of thinking is the right one.
The problem isn’t having confidence in our experience.
It’s allowing that confidence to prevent us from learning something new.
When Experience Becomes a Blind Spot
Experience is incredibly valuable.
It helps us recognise patterns, make better-informed decisions and understand situations that might once have felt unfamiliar.
But experience doesn’t automatically mean we’re right about everything.
In fact, the longer we work in a particular industry or role, the easier it can become to assume that we’ve already seen most situations before.
I’ve spent over 20 years building and running AJK Agency.
Over that time, I’ve developed instincts, built relationships and worked with a wide range of people across the creative industries.
Naturally, that experience influences how I approach decisions and challenges.
But I’ve also learnt that there is always something to consider beyond my own perspective.
When speaking at industry colleges or sitting on panels alongside other professionals, I’ve often found myself listening to people who approach the same industry from an entirely different point of view.
They might have different experiences, different priorities or a completely different way of understanding a particular challenge.
And that’s valuable.
Because their perspective might highlight something I haven’t considered.
It doesn’t mean my experience is wrong.
It means there’s more than one way to understand something.
That’s an important distinction if we want to keep developing.
Why We Sometimes Feel the Need to Defend Our Opinions
One of the reasons changing our thinking can be difficult is that our opinions are often connected to more than just the information we have.
They’re connected to our identity.
Think about how you feel when someone challenges something you’ve believed for years.
Perhaps your first reaction is to explain why you think they’re wrong.
Perhaps you start looking for reasons to defend your position.
Or perhaps you find yourself becoming uncomfortable, even when the other person is simply offering a different perspective.
Why does that happen?
Sometimes it’s because we interpret disagreement as criticism.
We feel that if someone questions our judgement, they’re questioning our ability, experience or credibility.
And when that happens, the conversation can quickly become about protecting how we see ourselves rather than understanding what the other person is saying.
This is where ego can get in the way of growth.
We become more concerned with defending our position than exploring whether there’s something useful in what we’re hearing.
But not every disagreement is a challenge to our credibility.
Sometimes it’s simply an opportunity to see something differently.
And learning to recognise that can change the way we approach conversations.
Confidence Doesn’t Mean Having the Last Word
There’s a difference between standing by something you believe in and feeling the need to prove that you’re right.
The first comes from conviction.
The second can sometimes come from insecurity.
I’ve learnt that I don’t need everyone to agree with me, and I certainly don’t need to agree with everyone else.
There will always be different opinions, approaches and interpretations.
That’s part of working with people.
But I’ve also come to appreciate that not every disagreement needs to become a debate.
Sometimes it’s enough to listen, understand where someone is coming from and consider whether their perspective offers something worth thinking about.
You can disagree without becoming defensive.
You can stand by your decisions without dismissing someone else’s experience.
And you can walk away from a conversation without needing to have the final word.
I think that’s an important part of emotional maturity.
Because confidence isn’t about winning every conversation.
It’s about being secure enough in yourself to allow other people to think differently.
The Importance of Being Willing to Change Your Mind
Changing your mind can sometimes feel like admitting you were wrong.
And perhaps that’s why people can be reluctant to do it.
We spend time developing an opinion, explaining it to others and making decisions based on it.
Letting go of that position can feel uncomfortable, particularly when we’ve invested a lot in it.
But changing your mind doesn’t necessarily mean your original thinking was unreasonable.
It might simply mean you’ve learnt something since then.
Perhaps you’ve gained more experience.
Perhaps circumstances have changed.
Perhaps someone has introduced an idea you hadn’t previously considered.
Or perhaps you’ve simply reached a point where you can recognise that a different approach might work better.
That’s not a failure of judgement.
It’s an example of development.
The ability to reconsider something is just as important as having the confidence to make a decision in the first place.
And in many situations, refusing to change your mind simply because you’ve already committed to an opinion can be far more limiting than admitting there’s another way forward.
What This Means for Leadership
This becomes particularly important when we’re responsible for leading other people.
Leadership often involves making decisions, setting expectations and providing direction.
People look to us for guidance, and there’s naturally an expectation that we should have a level of knowledge and confidence in what we’re doing.
But that doesn’t mean we should assume our perspective is always the best one.
In fact, I think some of the strongest leadership comes from recognising that other people can see things we might not.
Someone in your team might identify a problem you’ve overlooked.
A colleague might suggest a more effective approach.
Someone with less experience might offer an idea that challenges a process you’ve followed for years.
The question is whether you’re prepared to listen.
If people feel that their ideas will automatically be dismissed because they challenge the person in charge, they’ll eventually become less likely to contribute.
And that’s a missed opportunity.
Good leadership isn’t about having all the answers.
It’s about being willing to create an environment where better answers can emerge.
That requires confidence, but it also requires humility.
How to Become More Open to Different Perspectives
Being open-minded sounds straightforward, but putting it into practice can be more difficult, particularly when we’re emotionally invested in our opinions.
It requires us to become more aware of how we think, how we react and what might be influencing our decisions.
Here are four things worth considering.
1. Listen to Understand, Not Just to Respond
When someone challenges your thinking, resist the temptation to immediately prepare your response.
Give yourself time to understand what they’re actually saying.
Ask questions if something isn’t clear.
You don’t have to agree with their perspective, but you should be willing to understand it before deciding how you feel about it.
Sometimes the most valuable part of a conversation is what you learn by listening rather than speaking.
2. Recognise When Your Ego Is Getting Involved
Pay attention to how you react when someone disagrees with you.
Do you become defensive?
Do you feel the need to justify every decision?
Do you dismiss an idea because it challenges something you’ve always believed?
These reactions don’t necessarily mean you’re wrong.
But they might indicate that you’re more focused on protecting your position than considering the information in front of you.
Recognising that gives you the opportunity to respond differently.
3. Be Prepared to Reconsider Your Approach
Just because something has worked in the past doesn’t mean it’s always going to be the best option.
Think about the decisions you make regularly, the ways you communicate and the assumptions you bring into different situations.
Are they still serving you?
Is there another way of approaching things?
Being willing to reconsider doesn’t mean constantly changing direction.
It means recognising when something could be improved.
4. Separate Your Identity From Your Opinions
One of the most useful things you can learn is that being wrong about something doesn’t make you a less capable person.
Your opinions are not your entire identity.
Your professional experience isn’t defined by one decision.
And your credibility doesn’t disappear simply because someone offers a perspective you hadn’t considered.
The more comfortable you become with that distinction, the easier it becomes to learn without feeling that your confidence is being threatened.
Growth Requires More Than Experience
We often talk about personal development in terms of gaining knowledge, building skills and becoming more experienced.
And those things matter.
But I think there’s another part of growth that deserves just as much attention.
What are we prepared to unlearn?
Sometimes the behaviours, beliefs and assumptions that helped us reach a certain level of success are the very things we need to question as we move forward.
The way we approach challenges might need to change.
The way we communicate might need to develop.
The things we once considered important might no longer reflect what we want or where we’re heading.
That doesn’t mean everything we’ve learnt needs to be abandoned.
It means we need to remain aware that growth isn’t always about adding more to what we already know.
Sometimes it’s about making room for something different.
And that requires us to remain curious, even when we’re experienced.
The Confidence to Keep Learning
I think one of the biggest misconceptions about confidence is that it means reaching a point where you no longer question yourself.
But I don’t believe that’s how it works.
You can be confident in your abilities and still recognise that you have more to learn.
You can have strong opinions without becoming attached to defending every one of them.
You can trust your experience while remaining open to someone else’s perspective.
And you can acknowledge that you’ve changed your mind without feeling that you’ve lost credibility.
For me, that’s an important part of both personal development and leadership.
The people who continue to grow aren’t necessarily those who know the most.
They’re often the ones who remain willing to question what they know.
Because experience gives us a foundation, but curiosity allows us to keep building on it.
Perhaps the real measure of confidence isn’t how often we’re right. It’s how willing we are to recognise when there’s something more we could learn.
And sometimes, the most valuable thing we can say isn’t that we already know the answer.
It’s simply:
“I hadn’t thought about it like that.”
Frequently Asked Questions
Why is being open to different perspectives important?
Being open to different perspectives helps us recognise opportunities, challenge assumptions and make more informed decisions. It also improves communication and allows us to learn from experiences beyond our own.
Does changing your mind mean you lack confidence?
No. Changing your mind can demonstrate confidence and emotional maturity. It shows that you’re willing to consider new information and adjust your thinking when something challenges your original perspective.
How can leaders encourage different opinions?
Leaders can encourage different opinions by listening without immediately dismissing ideas, welcoming constructive challenges and creating an environment where people feel comfortable expressing their perspectives.
What is intellectual flexibility?
Intellectual flexibility is the ability to consider different viewpoints, question existing beliefs and adapt your thinking when presented with new information or experiences.
How can I become more comfortable with being wrong?
Start by separating your mistakes and opinions from your sense of personal worth. Focus on what you can learn from a situation rather than how it reflects on you. Recognise that being wrong about something doesn’t make you incapable.
Why is continuous learning important for professional development?
Continuous learning helps professionals adapt to changing environments, improve their decision-making and recognise new opportunities. It also prevents experience from becoming a reason to resist new ideas or approaches.
